Walking through the future branches
I know not about the sharp excrescence on its plants
Not knowing about the various thorny shrubs
Makes me wonder how painful the thorny future buzz
But lying ahead is a shining morning on a thorny curb
Legs on the spiny protuberances blemishes
Just to get to the shining morning of my future premises
Where thorn of mercy, happiness, and joy lays
Thorny future filled with opportunity and grace
But the thorn on the future path
causes sharp pain, irritation, discomfort bath
Causing irritation, annoyance, and burns
Letting out its anger, hatred and love
On the future path filled with thorns
Who knows if the shining morning ahead
have his own beaming thorns?
May be even sharper than the ones on its path and curb.
our future is hidden
among the vast forests of our soul
our future is waiting
among the depths of our own ocean
our future is yourself
you create your future
run through the forests
swim through your ocean
and you will find yourself
Zia Jaycee May Trent
It has been a few days being unemployed. Not really unemployed because there's a lot of things to do about Nacel Open Door. But since last Monday, I'm officially unemployed. Why? Because I don't have any job, because I haven't got my diploma, because the graduation day held on August 30th, 2008. So....I'm jobless...except I had to make a poster for NOD.
But that doesn't make me sad at all. I really enjoy the spare time I have. I read all novel I had to kill the time (because I don't have any budget to buy new books). But I enjoy it. Eventhough my husband don't really like it because when I read a book, it seems like I make a wall around me and be in my own world :) But...ever since he got a lot of night shift in the hospital and feel really tired in the morning, so the habit isn't bugging him at all :p
Besides that I also spend a lot of time cooking food. Sometimes I still smell the food all over my body :p I even spent a lot of time in front of my lovely apple, making things, writing blogs, playing facebook, editing picture etc.
I love being unemployed. Maybe for a while....
Salam kenal, saya Rethia, member milis ini dari beberapa bulan yang lalu tapi belum pernah posting.
Mungkin bahasan hangat sekarang di milis ini tentang plastik, styrofoam, betrik dan seli.
Tapi saya pengen sedikit curhat, mungkin yang mengerti bisa membahas ini dengan kita atau orang2 yang berkepentingan.
Cerita ini dimulai dari 2 minggu terakhir ini saat Dinas pertamanan mulai sibuk membabat pohon2 di jalur hijau. Yang jadi ganjelan di hati saya:
Ini kan musim panas, kenapa pohon-pohon itu dibabat abis, padahal pohon itu berguna banget buat melindungi dari panas yang sudah sangat tidak bersahabat akhir2 ini karena issue global warming yang lagi hangat dibicarakan.
Bukannya pohon2 itu berguna juga untuk membantu kita mengatasi polusi udara, karena mereka mengolah CO2 yang kita hasilkan menjadi O2 sehingga kita bisa tetap bernapas dengan enak. Dan bagian yang mengolah itu adalah daun2 yang dibabat habis (atau ditinggalkan satu cabangnya saja). Kalo gitu, kita menghirupkan lagi CO2 yang kita hasilkan. Soalnya daunnya gak mampu atau harus kerja keras banget buat mengolah CO2.
Hal ini paling bikin saya merasa kasihan dengan pohon2 itu. Bukannya kerja pohon itu untuk tetap hidup akan semakin berat karena gak ada daunnya yang bisa memberikan energi buat mereka tumbuh dan tetap hidup. Emang sih mereka tetap hidup sampai saat ini, tapi kan kasian pohonnya.
Sebenarnya ada gak sih aturan di pemerintah tentang tata cara menata pepohonan itu. Kalo memang dipotong untuk mengarahkan bentuk pohon supaya tidak menjulur2 keatas jalan, bukannya dari awal ditanam harusnya udah dibikin supaya dia tumbuh teratur. Trus kalo udah terlanjur tumbuh berantakan, bukannya harusnya dimaintain secara bertahap, bukan dengan dibabat habis.
Tapi saya memang tidak tahu bagaimana kebijakan pengelolaan jalur hijau di kota jakarta atau Indonesia. Gemes rasanya, kalo kita ngomongin mengurangi polusi tapi pohon2 yang membantu kita mengurangi polusi dibabat habis. Saya sih kasian banget sama pohonnya.
Mungkin ada yang mau sharing?
Notes: Surat ini saya tuliskan di milis greenlifestyle. Tapi jawaban yang ada masih belum memuaskan saya.
This pictures were taken while we prepared ourself for national board examination. Besides study, we were also taking pictures :)
This morning, my husband and I visit Harapan Kita Hospital. We supposed to met my uncle in that hospital. We got there at 7.30 a.m. and waiting for him. Finally we met him and after that we planed to leave the hospital. Because we leave home without breakfast, we decided to have breakfast in the hospital before we go home.
Meanwhile we wait for the food to came, I realize that a man sat outside the window. He enjoy his cigarette so much and I don't think he realize he sat under the "no smoking" sign. What a nice view we had, so we decided to take the pictures to put in my writing.
I just don't get what this man thought of. First he smoke in public area, second he smoke in hospital. I don't know where he put his brain at.
Father, can you hear me?
Father, can you see me?
Father, can you help me through this night?
Father, are you with me?
I look up at the sky, and wonder why, I feel so alone now.
Father, will you help me, I’m afraid to close my eyes?
Father, can you hear me?
Father, can you see me?
Father, if I sleep now, will you be watching over me this night?
Father, can you hear me?
Father, can you see me?
Father, the world I see is so much larger, than I remember when you were here with me.
Father, can you hear me?
Father, can you see me?
Father, can you help me, stand own my own two feet once more?
Father, I’m on my knees, looking at the sky, looking for your eyes.
Father, I’ve lost my way, God, I pray for your guidance once more.
Father, what was your will, God, it was not mine.
Father, can you hear me?
Father, can you see me?
Father, as I pray for your will, please come and show me the way, dear God I pray.
dedicated to my lovely father, may you rest in peace.
A Father means so many things...
An understanding heart,
A source of strength and of support
Right from the very start.
A constant readiness to help
In a kind and thoughtful way.
With encouragement and forgiveness
No matter what comes your way.
A special generosity and always affection, too
A Father means so many things
When he's a man like you...
Today is my father's birthday. Such a caring person. He likes children so much. He gave us best things in life. Such an idol for me and my sisters. His the best father I ever had.
I love U, Papa. May you rest in peace.
Beberapa waktu yang lalu, di mailing list Greenlifestyle, pernah terlontar sebuah topik yang berjudul "TANYA: apa yang harus dilakukan kalo lihat orang buang sampah sembarangan?" Cukup banyak respon dari e-mail pancingan ini, antara lain:
Pengalaman di atas pasti pernah terjadi pada kita. Kalau itu terjadi pada anda, apa respon yang akan anda lakukan?
Finally, my national board examination was over. Mine was held on July 1st, 2008. What a stressful day. I felt like going to fainted in front of the examiner. Just an old habit. Having myself going to bathroom few times in the morning because my stomach just won't cooperate with me. Having butterfly in stomach and my hands freezing.
From all kind of examination, I don't like interview kind of examination or oral test. Having problem to compose the words. Like to answer things in points. It seems easier to write down a blog rather than to answer the questions.
On the examination, I am having difficulty to caught my breaths. It seems like thin air around me. But after a while, I finally get myself quite comfortable and start to answer the questions. The examination over in 2.5 hours. What a long time for people who waiting outside the room but it seems such a short time inside the room.
But THANKS TO GOD that make everything just fine. Alhamdulillah, I passed the test. Thanks GOD, for giving me such a nice examiner. GOD knows what best for me. Eventhough I keep asking GOD to cancel the test, but he gave me the best outcome for my life. GOD also gave me strength to face the examination, because it crossed in my mind to step back from this examination.
Thanks to all, for all the prayers. Hope I can be a good anesthesiologist.
Almost a month since my last intermezzo writing. And at this moment, I still waiting for examination that coming up. This examination is a national board examination. So some Professor from some university came for this examination. This exam just mention 2-3 weeks ago in the middle of our local examination. My head seems to explode because of never stop reading books and writing.
I don't know how to handle this test. I feel like dropped this test. All I ask to God is to cancel this test. Feel want to threw up everyday with butterfly in my stomach everyday. Everyday always a new bad days about this examination. And it nailed me deeper to the ground. It feels like only my head still above the ground level.
God, give strength to handle this. Hope I can make it just fine or if think I can't handle the test, just cancel the test. I believe you always give me the best of all.
It's been a long time since my last writing. But still busy with my final exam and thesis... so i'll write some other time...
It's been a while since my last writing. Last time I wrote about being so easily got distracted from my study for the final examination. The next day, I was told by the program secretary that my examination will be held on the other week. What a shocking news. I only had 1 week to prepare my presentation. On the day after that, the schedule was out. It written that I had my examination for thesis on May 22nd (which is yesterday) and other examination on May 30th (just a day before my birthday). I quite shock to hear the news, ever since I haven't read much lately. I try to overcome it, but everything seems not fair at that moment. I also lost my appetite (hopefully can make me thinner :p) But after few days, everything turn out OK. I think, if I had my examination now, then I can be relax and working on my thesis correction without thinking about examination on June.
So here I'm now. Had my exam yesterday. Having butterfly in my stomach before the exam. But it seems God always be with me, because my examination wasn't like I thought. Although I wasn't satisfied with the exam, but it turn out OK. Thanks God, for answering my prays.
One down, Seven to go....
So...go back to the book now....
Wish me luck, so I can passed the exam just fine
And thank to all for the support you gave to me.
One thing that become a problem for me in studying is easily distracted.
If you see in dictionary, distraction means a thing that prevent someone from giving a full attention to something else or extreme agitation of the mind or emotions.
Just like today and other days, I have to prepared myself for my final examination. But there's always something else more interesting to do than study. Writing in my blog is one of it. Browsing internet is another distraction.
Now, it seems a lot of idea that can be wrote in my blog. About my lovely mom, about my best housekeeper and other things.
But, it have to wait. Because I have to study now. Maybe one idea per day is enough.
Kali ini saya akan menuliskan dalam bahasa Indonesia, karena cuma dalam bahasa ini saya bisa menyampaikan perasaan geram saya dengan puas.
Pertama-tama, hari ini saya pergi mengantar Mama ke RS Harkit. Dan sepanjang perjalanan pergi dan pulang itu, banyak hal yang membuat saya menjadi geram. Banyak sekali orang yang nyetir dengan menyerempet mobil yang saya kendarai. Apakah saya menyetir segitu parahnya hari ini? Padahal saya berjalan dengan kecepatan yang biasa2 aja, tidak pelan dan tidak juga kencang. Beberapa kali saya harus membunyikan klakson supaya yang nyerempet saya bisa sadar kalo dia sudah hampir nabrak saya.
Just like any other students in Indonesia, I have to take the final examination. In my case, I have finished up my thesis first before the examination. My thesis due date on May 30th. And the examination will be held on June 2008.
There's only a month away from now. But I don't feel like to study. I don't know why I feel so lazy. I have to read those big books, a lot of them.
Today I plan to read 100 pages a day and starting today. But, until this time, I haven't finished even a page. I just keep saying that I have to read the book, but my brain not obey the order. It's so hard to tell my body to do things that I should do.
A Mother's love is something
that no one can explain,
It is made of deep devotion
and of sacrifice and pain,
It is endless and unselfish
and enduring come what may
For nothing can destroy it
or take that love away . . .
It is patient and forgiving
when all others are forsaking,
And it never fails or falters
even though the heart is breaking . . .
It believes beyond believing
when the world around condemns,
And it glows with all the beauty
of the rarest, brightest gems . . .
It is far beyond defining,
it defies all explanation,
And it still remains a secret
like the mysteries of creation . . .
A many splendoured miracle
man cannot understand
And another wondrous evidence
of God's tender guiding hand.
~Helen Steiner Rice~
PS: this is dedicated to my mother, my host mom, my mother in law and all mother in the world
I don't know why, I like to browsing internet more than finishing my paper?
I can't even help my self to stop writing the blog, but I can't even write a single word on my paper?
My brain not even working when I'm doing my paper.
Since we were dating, I heard a story about my husband such a good guitar player. He played the guitar since a little boy. Even his guitar still the same guitar that he got in primary school. But unfortunately, I haven't heard my husband playing his guitar. Everytime I mention about his guitar, he just showed me a smile.
Few months ago, he found out there is one part of his guitar has broken. He planned to fix it. But it never happened until few weeks ago, he found out not only one part was broken but there's a lot more. So finally he brought his guitar to the guitar garage (am I using the right word?) to be fixed.
Two days ago, finally the guitar was fixed. It looks like new one. There's not so many places can fixed the guitar, sometimes they even suggest to buy the new one. But this guy, such a good person. He can even make guitar by his own, that a lot of top guitar player came to him asked him to make a guitar for them.
And finally, I heard my husband playing guitar. And we sing a song together with our "limited" voices (a.k.a. cempreng :))
Have you pray to God and asking for something and wish it will come true?
How often you prayed to God asking for something and you think He didn’t answer your pray?
How often you realized that what happened to your life isn’t just the way you ask?
How often people say you have to pray so God will granted your wish?
How sad you feel, when you didn’t get what you asked for?
Well, sometimes what we ask weren’t what we got. But that doesn’t mean that God didn’t listen to our pray. Sometimes we didn’t realized that our prays answered. Maybe it just to be appears in different way. But we have to believe that God will give you the best for our life.
In my life, I pray to God that I want go to school in good high school, but I didn’t passed, so I just go to ordinary private school. Then I pray after I got back from exchange year I could continue to my senior year in high school, but unfortunately I couldn’t. And what make me feel that God didn’t answer my pray, when in the next year, my friends who got back from their exchange program just go right through their senior year. But then I realized, that God loves me so much. He makes me go through my junior year again so I can have a lot more friends. He makes me go through my junior year again so I can be one of those good student and prepared to passed the university examination better. He makes me go through the junior year so I can keep up my grade good and I can continue my college years without taking the college entrance examination. That’s just the way He answered my pray to became a doctor. And now, here I am, a doctor.
God didn’t give me all I want, but as the result He gave what best for me. So it doesn’t means that your prays not answered, but He answered in different ways. There’s still a lot of my prayers answered by God.
So...don’t stop praying because God will listen and give you the best.
When I was a little girl used to dream became a doctor. And now I am.
I dream to became a ballerina. And now I’m not.
I dream to became a pianist. And now I’m not but I can play piano a little bit.
I dream to learn how to play guitar, trumpet, trombone, flute, and other instruments. And now I still dream about that.
I dream to go around the world. And now I’d go to some part of the world.
I dream about having an older brother. And now I have an older brother. Even though only host brother.
I dream having a good family, good job, good children. And now I still try hard to make my dream come true.
Why we have to have dreams?
Because it keep us alive.
Dreams will make your life had a purpose.
Not all dreams will come true, but we have to try harder to make it come true.
When the dreams not coming true, it doesn’t means your live is ending.
Last night I got a phone call from my high school best-friend. She asking about her leg being ached since last two weeks. She also feels pain in the neck. She can hardly moved and change her t-shirt. She asking, is this what I feel when I got chinkungnya last year. This is the second phone call after on the day before my other friend calling me asking about Chikungunya too.
Last year, around March 2007, I felt pain in my left upper arm. I couldn’t realize the cause. It was hard to change the gear when driving the car. In the night I got a fever. Not really high fever (around 38 - 38.5 degree C) but can made you stay in the bed. Unfortunately, the next morning, I had to go to Batam to attend a congress. So, I took Panadol 500 mg to ease the fever.
In the morning, all my body was aching. But it’s to late to had another people to go to congress. So with all Panadol & Imboost I got in my bag and a piece of jacket, I went to RSCM, place where we gonna met before go to the airport. I took all Panadol I need to keep the fever away in this day and also the next day.
Yesterday, I got 2 news that seems to be contradiction.
First I got news from my best-friend that her father passed away in the morning. Her father got really sick in this few weeks. His condition up and down, sometimes good and some other time was bad. When I visited him last saturday, his conditions really bad. But I think this is kinda a good news for him and the family, because I cannot imagine how his life gonna if he still alive right now. It will make him more depress. So I wish he will be happy stay near to our God. May he rest in peace.
I got the second news when I was in the cemetery. The news is my other best-friend having a baby. The baby born after the C-section. A cute baby girl named Farha Sabita Asyhari come to the world. Bring the joy to the world. The joy for her parents, grandparents, uncle and aunty, and anybody.
There's always people come and go around us. But I always think it is what best for all of us.