A Mother's love is something
that no one can explain,
It is made of deep devotion
and of sacrifice and pain,
It is endless and unselfish
and enduring come what may
For nothing can destroy it
or take that love away . . .
It is patient and forgiving
when all others are forsaking,
And it never fails or falters
even though the heart is breaking . . .
It believes beyond believing
when the world around condemns,
And it glows with all the beauty
of the rarest, brightest gems . . .
It is far beyond defining,
it defies all explanation,
And it still remains a secret
like the mysteries of creation . . .
A many splendoured miracle
man cannot understand
And another wondrous evidence
of God's tender guiding hand.

~Helen Steiner Rice~


PS: this is dedicated to my mother, my host mom, my mother in law and all mother in the world

This are some pictures from Hadi and Lilik's wedding reception at Riverside Country Club.

I don't know why, I like to browsing internet more than finishing my paper?
I can't even help my self to stop writing the blog, but I can't even write a single word on my paper?
My brain not even working when I'm doing my paper.
Why....oooo....why?

Since we were dating, I heard a story about my husband such a good guitar player. He played the guitar since a little boy. Even his guitar still the same guitar that he got in primary school. But unfortunately, I haven't heard my husband playing his guitar. Everytime I mention about his guitar, he just showed me a smile.

Few months ago, he found out there is one part of his guitar has broken. He planned to fix it. But it never happened until few weeks ago, he found out not only one part was broken but there's a lot more. So finally he brought his guitar to the guitar garage (am I using the right word?) to be fixed.

Two days ago, finally the guitar was fixed. It looks like new one. There's not so many places can fixed the guitar, sometimes they even suggest to buy the new one. But this guy, such a good person. He can even make guitar by his own, that a lot of top guitar player came to him asked him to make a guitar for them.

And finally, I heard my husband playing guitar. And we sing a song together with our "limited" voices (a.k.a. cempreng :))

Edgar Allan Poe
[First published in 1845]

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
`'Tis some visitor,' I muttered, `tapping at my chamber door -
Only this, and nothing more.'

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow - sorrow for the lost Lenore -
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels named Lenore -
Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
`'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door -
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; -
This it is, and nothing more,'

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
`Sir,' said I, `or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you' - here I opened wide the door; -
Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before
But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, `Lenore!'
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, `Lenore!'
Merely this and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
`Surely,' said I, `surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -
'Tis the wind and nothing more!'

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore.
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door -
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door -
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
`Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no craven.
Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the nightly shore -
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning - little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door -
Bird or beast above the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
With such name as `Nevermore.'

But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only,
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered - not a feather then he fluttered -
Till I scarcely more than muttered `Other friends have flown before -
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before.'
Then the bird said, `Nevermore.'

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
`Doubtless,' said I, `what it utters is its only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore -
Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore
Of "Never-nevermore."'

But the raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird and bust and door;
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore -
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore
Meant in croaking `Nevermore.'

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o'er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o'er,
She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.
`Wretch,' I cried, `thy God hath lent thee - by these angels he has sent thee
Respite - respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore!
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost Lenore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil! -
Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted -
On this home by horror haunted - tell me truly, I implore -
Is there - is there balm in Gilead? - tell me - tell me, I implore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us - by that God we both adore -
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels named Lenore -
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels named Lenore?'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!' I shrieked upstarting -
`Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken! - quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted - nevermore!


Note: first time I read this poem was on my English Literature Class once upon a time during my exchange year. Missed those old time. (Rethia)

Have you pray to God and asking for something and wish it will come true?
How often you prayed to God asking for something and you think He didn’t answer your pray?
How often you realized that what happened to your life isn’t just the way you ask?
How often people say you have to pray so God will granted your wish?
How sad you feel, when you didn’t get what you asked for?

Well, sometimes what we ask weren’t what we got. But that doesn’t mean that God didn’t listen to our pray.  Sometimes we didn’t realized that our prays answered. Maybe it just to be appears in different way. But we have to believe that God will give you the best for our life.

In my life, I pray to God that I want go to school in good high school, but I didn’t passed, so I just go to ordinary private school. Then I pray after I got back from exchange year I could continue to my senior year in high school, but unfortunately I couldn’t. And what make me feel that God didn’t answer my pray, when in the next year, my friends who got back from their exchange program just go right through their senior year. But then I realized, that God loves me so much. He makes me go through my junior year again so I can have a lot more friends. He makes me go through my junior year again so I can be one of those good student and prepared to passed the university examination better. He makes me go through the junior year so I can keep up my grade good and I can continue my college years without taking the college entrance examination. That’s just the way He answered my pray to became a doctor. And now, here I am, a doctor.

God didn’t give me all I want, but as the result He gave what best for me. So it doesn’t means that your prays not answered, but He answered in different ways. There’s still a lot of my prayers answered by God.

So...don’t stop praying because God will listen and give you the best.

This is a place for outdoor activity. There's a lot of outdoor games in here such us flying fox, canoing, cargo net, mohawk walk and others.

This is just 2 out of bunch games.

When I was a little girl used to dream became a doctor. And now I am. 
I dream to became a ballerina. And now I’m not. 
I dream to became a pianist. And now I’m not but I can play piano a little bit.
I dream to learn how to play guitar, trumpet, trombone, flute, and other instruments. And now I still dream about that.
I dream to go around the world. And now I’d go to some part of the world.
I dream about having an older brother. And now I have an older brother. Even though only host brother.
I dream having a good family, good job, good children. And now I still try hard to make my dream come true.

Why we have to have dreams? 
Because it keep us alive. 
Dreams will make your life had a purpose.
Not all dreams will come true, but we have to try harder to make it come true. 
When the dreams not coming true, it doesn’t means your live is ending.

Chikungunya virus (CHIKV) is an arbovirus, of the genus, Alphavirus, that is transmitted to humans by virus-carrying Aedesmosquitoes. There have been recent outbreaks of CHIKV associated with severe morbidity. CHIKV causes an illness with symptoms similar to dengue fever. CHIKV manifests itself with a prolonged arthralgic disease that affects the joints of the extremities. The acute febrile phase of the illness lasts only two to five days. The pain associated with CHIKV infection of the joints persists for weeks or months.

SIGN AND SYMPTOMS
The incubation period of Chikungunya disease is from two to four days. Symptoms of the disease include a fever up to 39 °C (102.2 °F), a petechial ormaculopapular rash of the trunk and occasionally the limbs, and arthralgia or arthritis affecting multiple joints. Other nonspecific symptoms can includeheadache, conjunctival injection, and slight photophobia. Typically, the fever lasts for two days and then ends abruptly. However, other symptoms, namely joint pain, intense headache, insomnia and an extreme degree of prostration last for a variable period; usually for about 5 to 7 days. Patients have complained of joint pains for much longer time periods depending on their age.

Last night I got a phone call from my high school best-friend. She asking about her leg being ached since last two weeks. She also feels pain in the neck. She can hardly moved and change her t-shirt. She asking, is this what I feel when I got chinkungnya last year. This is the second phone call after on the day before my other friend calling me asking about Chikungunya too.

Last year, around March 2007, I felt pain in my left upper arm. I couldn’t realize the cause. It was hard to change the gear when driving the car. In the night I got a fever. Not really high fever (around 38 - 38.5 degree C) but can made you stay in the bed. Unfortunately, the next morning, I had to go to Batam to attend a congress. So, I took Panadol 500 mg to ease the fever.

In the morning, all my body was aching. But it’s to late to had another people to go to congress. So with all Panadol & Imboost I got in my bag and a piece of jacket, I went to RSCM, place where we gonna met before go to the airport. I took all Panadol I need to keep the fever away in this day and also the next day.

Yesterday, I got 2 news that seems to be contradiction. 

First I got news from my best-friend that her father passed away in the morning. Her father got really sick in this few weeks. His condition up and down, sometimes good and some other time was bad. When I visited him last saturday, his conditions really bad. But I think this is kinda a good news for him and the family, because I cannot imagine how his life gonna if he still alive right now. It will make him more depress. So I wish he will be happy stay near to our God. May he rest in peace.

I got the second news when I was in the cemetery. The news is my other best-friend having a baby. The baby born after the C-section. A cute baby girl named Farha Sabita Asyhari come to the world. Bring the joy to the world. The joy for her parents, grandparents, uncle and aunty, and anybody.

There's always people come and go around us. But I always think it is what best for all of us.